How much is enough?

I feel like crying. Maybe braking a few things. Maybe I'll just go sit in a dark corner and pretend nothing exists. Why, you ask? Well, I got an email from my main adviser. Yeah, one of those emails which compact a world of stress and despair in a few neat sentences. I knew it was trouble before I opened it. This adviser never sends me anything positive, so the odds of that happening now were slim to none.

So what does he write to me? "Oh, well you know that oral exam date that you set up with four committee members and I agreed to a week ago? I now think that since you have so much to write and study all of your coursework, you won't have enough time, so let's postpone for another month. You do want to pass, right?" (i'm paraphrasing obviously)

...

Like someone said in the "Wedding Singer" movie, that information would have been useful to me YESTERDAY! I'm yelling so you know. Just like in the movie.

Oh, and by the "coursework" he means ALL of it. Every class I ever took in grad school. Let me tell you, no one to my knowledge, not one grad student was told to do that! Everyone was given a specific list of topics to study. Me? I guess, I'm not good enough for that. I don't even deserve a list of subjects to study, let alone specific topics and God forbid book titles.

I'm mad and upset! And I'm on the verge of starting a procedure for switching to another adviser. It will be very difficult to do, given that we are intertwined with my other (and favorite) adviser who is heading a grant proposal and already arranged both of us on it. Lots of political mayhem is about to ensue. But what are my other options? To continue being jerked around like this and continually used as a door mat? I'm done with this. I'm not an expendable useless labor and my time should not be treated as if it comes at no price.

I'm scared of what I might have to do, but hey that too shall pass.

Meanwhile, my husband and I are crafting an email to my main adviser, prodding him to provide me with his specific expectations for the exam. It took both of us the whole morning to do this. Just to get what any normal adviser is supposed to provide voluntarily, if not willingly. It is called an advice. It is part of mentoring.

Well, let's see how this unfolds.